Another Day

I've been sitting here doing some homework, taking a test online that was due last week. I am a little behind. It is not easy having two jobs being a full-time student, still practicing pitching and having a boyfriend who I want to spend any free second with. But, I can handle it all. The more on my plate the better, and there is not one thing on my list that I would be willing to give up. J And on top of that I am going to-hopefully- begin working with some organizations to help people. We will see I suppose. I am not completely sure what I wanted to write about today, I just learned that I can use Microsoft to write my blogs instead of doing it all on my blogger- not sure if that made sense, well I am just taking a break from my HW and Ive got to go get ready for work in 40 minutes so I should probably go finish that up. J

Just some things…

"There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear has punishment. He who fears is not made perfect in love."

"The fruit of the spirit is love, joy and peace."

<3

Okay y'all

I'm out J

Home

I am home for good, for now. I have so many goals that might take me anywhere from accross seas or just accross the country. I moved back to southern California from Georgia in May of this year. So far it has been the right move for me. I miss softball immensely, but I do plan to play again, and soon. I was meant and built to play ball!
During the summer I turned 21, now that was an interesting time. My closest friend here at home (one because I didnt keep in touch with many other people while I was gone) blew off my birthday rendezvous for a concert.. nice.. well Im not complaining, I had an amazing birthday with my mom and aunt. Who knew partyin with those girls would be so great! :)
Two days after my 21st birthday I got a bartending job, a few weeks later I got a second bartending job. So, at the moment, I have two bartending jobs, I am a full-time student, and I am practicing pitching every week, oh- and on top of that I have a boyfriend. :) Who is amazing. Even more on top of that I am going to start something new- I am going to find more time in my day- with that time I plan to try* church and see how I like it. The things I have heard and seen makes me think I will like it. And yes- you read right... I am trying church as in I have never been before- crazy? Maybe idk. Also - I am working on working with some non-profit organizations for rehabililtating people who are just getting out of prison and things like that. OH- and I talked to my friends mom last night and I think I am going to start helping a group that helps ex drug addicts who have nothing. I am going to start by giving them a lot of my clothes I dont need and then from there I am going to see what I can do to become part of something. I am a sociology major and I have a need to help people. That is something I love to do. I feel like I am very big hearted and I love to make everyone smile and love life. No matter how bad things get life could be worse. Everyone is blessed :)
I am lucky enough to have everything and everyone I have in my life, I do not take it/them for granted- so I want to do what I can to help other people, and I will most likely do something along those lines as a career. Sometimes I complain about things but I need to start reminding myself how good I have it, and just SMILE :D
Well off to practice!
XO
Kate

Neglected

I have neglected writting anything on my blog lately. It all seems so woah is me type of deal, so I thought I would give it a break. But there are a few people who told me they like to read my blog and that I shouldn't erase it or stop writting on it, so I guess I won't stop.
Whats new. Hmph. I have gone on a few dates. They were fun. None of them are going anywhere, but I love to meet new people and be social. "My name is Kate and I like to party!" -Hot Rod (with the subtraction of Rods name and the addition of mine :D)
Anyhooters. I did meet one fun guy recently. His name is KC, hes.. interesting to say the least. He seems like a good guy and someone to have a good time with, and he likes to party. ha. Two partiers=trouble. But I never said I didn't like trouble did I? :)
What else is new and random? Alana turned 21!!! Yay her! :) My birthday is coming up. I feel like 21 won't make that much of a difference. But hell, its a birthday. Vegas is most likely ruled out because the money that was going to be used for that, well it needs to be used for something else.. something I royally fucked up, just like I royally fuck up everything! BUT maybe things will start to change here soon.
So there is a concert coming up soon, well one of many I want to go to, but this is the most recent one I am looking at:
Death Cab For Cutie
[Should insert pic here, but blogger is messed up and won't let me upload my pic]
It was going to show how dorky this band looks, but I mean, don't judge a book by its cover people. :) Google them and you will see, since I can't show you right now! Epic Fail.
Does anyone out here listen to them? They are amazing.

Okay. Okay. Something else. hmph.

JUST SAW. MEGAN FOX IS SINGLE.
lol she said "I'm currently what you would call single I guess." wtf.. I don't like how she said that. Why can't she just say shes single, to me this sounds like.. Oh Ive never been single, I guess I'm single. IDK. She is gorgeous though. Well, I saw the before and after of a nose job? News to me but I don't keep up on too much celeberty crap. But, she looks hotter and so much better now, I mean.. she was never ugly or anything. OK, she has a nice body. This is another pic I really want to post, but IDK whats going on with this blogger shiz.

Alrighty.

Until Next Time.

New Beginnings

I have gone through a lot of changes lately. My friends, softball, just life in general. I had one person in my life that was my best friend. We have recently parted ways. It sucks, because I loved him and he was important to me, but after things that happened, I realize that we are better apart. The only thing that sucks is how he doesn't care, and obviously never did. For someone to say... "its whatev! You are just water off my back" wow.. that's harsh.. but if that's how he feels then so be it. There is more that I could say that would tell the world the horrible things he said, but.. I think that one hurt and shows where he was going. And on top of that, he acted like he was twelve and made all his status on Facebook and Myspace about me.. like, Moving on, no big deal etc. Its kinda sad to see that I called someone like that my best friend, actually REALLY sad. lol. I obviously need higher standards for friends.

I think he was a good guy but he has definitely changed lately, or maybe the more I really learned about him the more I really saw who he was, under all the glitz and glamour and his materialistic lifestyle.

Other than being shocked by the turn our friendship took, I can't say he wasn't there for me when I needed him, just like I was there for him. I thought that's what made a best friend, but I think more importantly best friends need to treat each other with respect, and that obviously wasn't happening anymore. Which is fine, people gain friends and lose friends.

I know my life will be A LOT less dramatic now. Just the past week has been a relief :)

So that is a positive from this.

Apart from my other friends, I have also been getting in touch with my friends from home again, since I will be spending my whole summer home for once. :)

It is kinda nice catching up with them all and it just makes me even more excited to get on the plane and take the 4 and a half hour flight home. :D

I can't wait until I get to go to the beach everyday. And I really can't wait until I head over to Vegas :)

It will be... the best week of my life, I am sure!

All I have to worry about is.. what am I going to wear?!?! ha. well I have a few months to figure that out.

Other things, I am hoping I will get one of the most important people back in my life soon. I don't know though, me and her have been on rocky terms over and over. But hopefully time will heal and if anything, we can become better friends. Even if not, I am glad I had her in my life and lost her, then never having her at all. Sound familiar? lOl.

Well, I have got to study, I have been putting it off all day... Ugh. First with Twilight, then with 90210, then facebook, and now... Blogspot! jeesh I'm a horrible procrastinator. oopsies.

PS

Looking back at past posts, I feel like a mental case. HAHA.
Ive got to stop writing when Im at that emotional week of my life..
I def restrained myself last week. There was so much I could have gotten out on my blog.. but I didnt.
yay me. Baby steps. HAH

Getting sick

I haven't slept good in over a week.
I haven't eaten in a week. IDK how?!?!?
Im sad 90% of my day, not even sure why.. exactly, I think its a lot of little things, adding up..
Im stressed about EVERY part of my life. School, Softball, Personal life, Family I mean you name it. Im stressed. And you can so tell something is wrong just by looking at me. I look like shit. I look tired, I look sad, I look stressed.. because Ive broken out worse than I ever have in my life.
I feel like im getting sick.
Im so tired.
My eyes hurt.
My head hurts.
Everything is just tired.
Idk how 2 fix me! ugh
Just warn out.
Im guessing it might be from not eating.. because I never get good sleep.
Or maybe, its all just catching up 2 me.
Whatever it is.. it needs to stop. NOW.
lol.
Just need some balance back in my life.
That is all.
:)

Things on my mind:

Dani.
I have been working hard to put a smile on my face and not cry.
Everything makes me want to break down.
What is going on?
I was not in love, its not the same as Em. But I guess every relationship is not the same..
It kills me to know that.. I am the one who messed things up.
My mind will not leave these thoughts.
Usually.. I am very good at moving on. Maybe because I went back to Dani.. and still being cautioned..
I put even more into her. Idk.. I know we are good for each other.. I just wish I would have known the things I did before this happened so I could work on them.
I am the kind of person who can change these little things.. she was right.. things I did was not nice.. or right on my part.. I just never noticed. Fuck.
Just trying to keep it together..
The thing is.. I cant even talk to her about it. She has so many other things on her mind.. that are a MILLION times more important that this.
I feel guilty for even thinking of her putting any thought into this right now. She just cant. and SHOULDNT
Fuck.
I found someone who really did make me happy.
I love every second with her. Fuck.. I cant think of a time I was around her that I wasn't happy.
I feel sick to my stomach.