PS

Looking back at past posts, I feel like a mental case. HAHA.
Ive got to stop writing when Im at that emotional week of my life..
I def restrained myself last week. There was so much I could have gotten out on my blog.. but I didnt.
yay me. Baby steps. HAH

Getting sick

I haven't slept good in over a week.
I haven't eaten in a week. IDK how?!?!?
Im sad 90% of my day, not even sure why.. exactly, I think its a lot of little things, adding up..
Im stressed about EVERY part of my life. School, Softball, Personal life, Family I mean you name it. Im stressed. And you can so tell something is wrong just by looking at me. I look like shit. I look tired, I look sad, I look stressed.. because Ive broken out worse than I ever have in my life.
I feel like im getting sick.
Im so tired.
My eyes hurt.
My head hurts.
Everything is just tired.
Idk how 2 fix me! ugh
Just warn out.
Im guessing it might be from not eating.. because I never get good sleep.
Or maybe, its all just catching up 2 me.
Whatever it is.. it needs to stop. NOW.
lol.
Just need some balance back in my life.
That is all.
:)

Things on my mind:

Dani.
I have been working hard to put a smile on my face and not cry.
Everything makes me want to break down.
What is going on?
I was not in love, its not the same as Em. But I guess every relationship is not the same..
It kills me to know that.. I am the one who messed things up.
My mind will not leave these thoughts.
Usually.. I am very good at moving on. Maybe because I went back to Dani.. and still being cautioned..
I put even more into her. Idk.. I know we are good for each other.. I just wish I would have known the things I did before this happened so I could work on them.
I am the kind of person who can change these little things.. she was right.. things I did was not nice.. or right on my part.. I just never noticed. Fuck.
Just trying to keep it together..
The thing is.. I cant even talk to her about it. She has so many other things on her mind.. that are a MILLION times more important that this.
I feel guilty for even thinking of her putting any thought into this right now. She just cant. and SHOULDNT
Fuck.
I found someone who really did make me happy.
I love every second with her. Fuck.. I cant think of a time I was around her that I wasn't happy.
I feel sick to my stomach.