Listening to: Avett Brothers: If its the beaches
Don't say its over.. (Makes me think of you. Not her).
Last night:
Lets start from the beginning of my day. Well.
Danielle spent the night with me Monday night. :) Makes me happy.
Woke up, studied. Danielle and I then drove to get some grubb. Then she drove me to class to take my final.
She then left for Athens, planning to return later that night.
Thats all I was looking forward to all day.
After my first final.. I had a two hour break.
Instead of studying, I talked to Danielle on AIM.
I think I could be around that girl all the time and be perfectly happy.
We chatted. She was excited to come back to ATL. :)
I went to take my AAS final.
My teacher didn't show up. :))
Good and Bad, if he didn't show up.. what does that mean for my grade?? He better have given us an A on the final. Or Else!
If he gives me an A on the final, I get a B in the class.. which is NEEDED. Really badly.
((Now listening to Damien Rice: Sleep Don't Weep))
Ok. So after my final, I planned on napping, but I was so excited, and sad to see Danielle.
Sad because I was about to leave for three weeks.
Well. I was about to be so disappointed.
She didn't come. Not only did she have my car with her.
She decided that she didn't want to come anymore, and that she is done with me in that way. . …
You would think the way girls treated me.. I would be done with them. I just don't want to be done with her. Its horrible to say, but, I mean, it wasn't easy for me to be done with Emily ( my ex ) but.. Danielle and I have a COMPLETELY different connection than Emily and I had. Not like O so serious lol
But.. ok.. like we say the same shit at the same time. Annoying, but cool.
Idk.
I don;t know why I let someone pull me alone for the ride. I was.. not just “fun or a game” to her but what am I supposed to think of it.
If I would have realized nothing was going to come out of it.. IDK.. I just don't agree with Fck buddies. If we were “dating” thats one thing.. IDK things, life would have been better without either of our exes in the picture, because I think we are really damn good together. Why am I crushing so hard?? wtf.
I'm sure she loves it. Just one more person to like her.. to fight for her.. seems like a game to me eh?
God.. idk.. sometimes I see more and more resemblance to Danielle and Emily everyday. Which I don't like, I'm not with Emily for a reason. For Danielle. And Emily is not the same person anymore. She is an important part of my history that will never be forgotten.
((Whatever you like :))) Playing [DANIELLE]))
Anyways. One difference in me and Danielle that I hate.. She doesn't realize that the past is PAST. People change, theres nothing you can do about it.
Does she really think if she is back with her ex she will be happy?
There is NO possible was for things to go back to normal with them, tooo much bad shit has happened, which is yet another reason I am done with Emily, because too much has happened.. we don't see each other the same way anymore.
Ugh. Just venting.
I am only assuming that Danielle is.. once again.. (how many times now) .. going to try and get back with Krystal. Same outcome in the past.. same outcome in the future.. wow you think I would take my own advice. For me. Why do I think the outcome with Danielle will be any different? She fails to surprise me with a different, positive, outcome... how many times has she said she just wants me to be her friend.. and then change her mind (thank god) again.. idk 4 times probably.
The only reason I think this whole mess is for Krystal, is because its predictable, and has already happened before.. and she told emily, that if emily and I really love each other why don't we fight for it and try to work things out.. see this is how she thinks. There is always someone better out there for you Danielle. I was one.. that you don't want.. but don't worry.. there are more.. more people who will make you smile, make your bad day better, bring you rainbow twizlers, drive to Athens constantly for you, come to Athens when you sound like you are having a bad day, care when you are in pain.. physically and emotionally, have those crazy fun times with you, go camping with you, try new things for you, wrestle with you, love your Kayla, drive to you when you had an accident (hopefully no more of those) someone who will be your friend and listen to you, (even though I put my own opinions in there a few times but I can't help it.. thats just me), someone who is honest, who isn't afraid to be themselves around you (good or bad), someone who will just care about you, there will be more people that will surprise you with their kindness and will do anything for you.. like me. But they are not me. UGH. I make this sound like the end of the world, or like we broke up. But we were nothing to break up. You just decided I wasn't good enough anymore. (for your play or whatever I am.. thought I was or should have been more)
OK this isn't a letter to Danielle lol.. this is my blog, my thoughts just turned into a letter format. I doubt she will even read this. HA. Really.
Things through my head.. Maybe she just wants to go sleep with who ever without feeling guilty. Wow that would be horrible. Im not planning on hooking up with anyone.. I know I'm single but I know what I want.. and don't wana screw up any chance I might have with that.. which seems to be none right now.. but I guess I like to fight for what I want.. only if I really want something.. and I am stubborn about it.
I know what I want and like..
So I have to do everything I can to get it.. and if I fail.. at least I know I tried my hardest.
OK RIGHT NOW:
Danielle has my car.. shes not answering my phone.. hope she is okay.. if she is not going to answer and let me know she is ok.. before I get on my flight.. and I have to think and freak out if she is okay on a five hour flight with NO WAY of communication.. OH ill kill her..
This wont be the first time she has done this. GOD, the more I type the more I see how shitty this is.
Hmm... interesting..
Guess I like the wrong people.. just waiting for the amazing Danielle to come back I guess. :) Because that Danielle.. really is.. AMAZING.
((LISTENING TO: Avett Brothers.. they have amazing lyrics))
Man my phone just lit up and im jumped.. wasn't her.. was my mom.
If Danielle reads this..
listen to.
((Pete Murray: see the sun and Ingrid Michaelson: Breakable..thats just a good song.. I think.. I'm weird with music though.. u know this && Pete Murray: Bitter)) :)
Can you see the sun? With me.
ON THE AIRPLANE NOW: Hour Thirty Minutes left to go. (Half a day down 3 wks until I come back to you.. I hope.)
I miss you.
Thats what I am thinking.
Sorry I had Emily issues and drama.
Thats not me.
I/I'm changed/changing.
Sorry you have Krystal issues and drama.
Imagine what we could have.
All I can think about what we could have is :)
Lets topic Change:
The guy sitting next to me is a kreeper.. but passed out. Now he is snoring too loud.. I can hear it even with my ipod in.. :/ and I don't listen to it quitely.. thats for damn sure. ;)
LISTENING TO: Smashing Pumpkins: Perfect
LOVE IT!
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