I knew It.

I knew I should have gotten back with Emily.
I just thought.. maybe.. maybe.. i could find someone who treated me better.
So I royally ruined things with Emily for Danielle.
Buying into her BS.
Now I see where I screwed up.
I shouldn't be so gullible.
Maybe I was just hopefull.
Anyways. I am 110% Misersable now.
Because I thought I was doing what was right for me at the time.
Now I see.. I was fooled.
Its just sad how my life turns around so quickly. from way too happy and in love to.. this.. shit.. alone..
I guess ill be alone.. and find someone someday that can keep me company.
I wish Emily wasn't right. and I wish Danielle was worth it.
I wanted to believe the things she said and did.
UGH
Now I see Emily WASNT perfect at all. But atleast she was her. She didn't pull too much BS in 6 months, I think Danielle has already topped her in 2 months. LOL
What to do.
Can someone just be real with me?
Can I just have someone who will love me and treat me the way I love and treat them??
I dont understand how that is so hard for people.
If you like someone, you should do your best to make them happy.. right?
Well I think so.
AND
I think there should be 100% honesty. ALWAYS. Even if it hurts someone.
Just some Thoughts.
I just, its lame.. but dont see a reason to live, not that life is all about relationships, but I am a huge fan of love and relationships, it completes ME to make someone smile and happy. It really does. and it makes the rest of my life fall into place, which apparently is not a good thigs according to Emily.
God.
Help.
Me.
Figure out what and where I am suposed to go.
Christmas Break cannot come soon enough I need a break.
It will be my runnaway.
Wish I could take someone special with me for a lovers runnaway.
Is there anything or anyone that i can believe in anymore.
Im so lost.
whats new?
:(