Sunday, November 23, 2008

Rough Week..End.

Thursday:
The girl I love(d) with all my heart.. slept with the girl she was casually dating.. that was only suposed to be company and fun and nothing more than kissing.
I was shocked. It hurts. Esp considering our talk a few days prior.
Cried to Matt, he said come to Athens, and he will make me feel better.
I talked to Danielle. Got ready at her place randomly, because I wasn't really on good terms with her.

Went out. Wasn't myself.
My ex locked me in the Bathroom yelling at me.

Danielle got mad, because I kissed a hott gay boy. Shes not my GF so it shouldn't matter. If she wanted me to herself she should have made me her GF.
OH. On the was to Athens Thurs.. I got a Ticket. My first ticket ever.
My friends .. actually one, Emily Bird was a piece of shit that night. But I understand why she is up my exes ass. Doesn't mean she can be like that.
What else...
I broke my 300+ dollar phone.
Friday:
Woke up at Danielles.
Left my stuff there because I was going to tutoring and weights in ATL then coming right back to Athens.
I got back to her place.
She told me, too bad my phone was broke because while I was on the way there, she was on the phone with her mom crying, and her mom told her to come home.
She left me alone.
I didn't hear from her.
Thought she was dead.
She had an accident recently that was the same way, her phone was off.
So i really thought she was dead.
Didnt sleep hardly at all.
Cried a lot.
Sat:
Woke up.. checked my comp every hour in the night waiting for something from Danielle.
Planned on doing HW all day but instead I was freaking out calling EVERYONE to see where danielle was. even messaged her ex.. and people who hate her. lol. AND found her home number online. called.
That night.....
I found out where she was from Elli.
She must have heard her told me bc magically she called me within 5 min after I talked to Elli.
She told me a bunch of BS lies.
I cried all day because I can't find a good person. They are all shit. Every last person.
Em made me to to Macon City to Vals to go out to cheer me up.
I was misserable all night.
I was the buzz kill
I dont remember one thing anyone said that night.
I was so destrought. Idk what was wrong with me. Ive never been that way.
Drank some. Cried more.
My eyes had tears for 24 hours. lol not ok.
Slept in Lauras bed with Em. She held me and I cried. It was sweet.
She is happy with her new girl. and told me i am beautiful and an amazing girl and I will find someone.. basically telling me that we are done. more done than before.. if possible. which is fine i can barely look at her after she fucked kim2.
Sun:
Drove back to Athens.
Talked to Danielle. Told me how sad she is. Welcome to the club girl. Ur not the only one who is a mess and has bad thoughts in the world. Stop being so selfish.
I told her I will be there for her.
Her ex messaged me on FB after.. apparently she says some things.. theres no sure way to know who to believe. Danielle has lied to me multiple times. Friday she did it straight to my face. so how could i trust her at all?
IDK im not ok with liers.
Then I gave pitching lessons, got out of me negative crying mood ive been in all weekend.. because I have to teach my students how to be positive and confident with pitching.. so it made me a lil more positive.. or maybe just a lil less negative.
Now. Im layin in bed.
Danielle is ignoring my texts once again. and i called once.
I deserve so much better than this shit.



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